Dixie Plantation, Minolta 35 mm
*Disclaimer: this should probably fall into the non-existent self-motivation category of this blog.
The art of letting go seems to be more of a puzzle than something I clearly understand, and this makes it difficult to write about. All I understand until now is that ‘letting go’ is a release, of some form. For me, that form is control.
In the past I have found that when I try to take direct control of a situation that seems out of my reach or chaotic, it backfires and the outcome is usually not to my favor. Alternatively, when I seem to simply raise my consciousness and awareness in a way that I am observing and acknowledging all of these chaotic factors around me, suddenly things start to flow…. if not much better, than just a little easier.
I’ve been thinking about some particular instances where we could all practice “letting go,” so as to free our minds from worrying about things that take up our coveted mental and emotional energy. Here are some of them ( yes, I won’t hide it, I have personally dealt with each of them):
You are at a crossroads and don’t know where you should go next
Imagine yourself literally at a dirt crossroads, and it has four directions. Now, that narrows down our options a little bit. You are on one of those paths already, so that leaves you with three from which to choose.
Now, apply this to the crossroads in your life. Literally, what are your realistic options? You likely have A, B or C. It’s not as overwhelming when you narrow down your choices. I know, this is easier said than done; but my point is that it doesn’t have to be that daunting.
The art of letting go says, just pick one option and (try to) stick with it.
You disappointed yourself, or you disappointed someone important to you
I hate disappointing people who are important to me! It’s such a terrible feeling, although it’s inevitable that along the line we are not going to always live up to everyone’s expectations.
Think about quitting a bad habit — smoking for instance. Well, it’s about 90% likely that you are going to slip up while you’re trying to quit. The experts always advise you NOT to beat yourself up over that mistake, but instead, look forward. Keep trying to succeed.
The art of letting go says to acknowledge your mistakes, learn from them, and move on without dwelling.
Someone doesn’t like you
Again, this is going to happen whether we like it or not. I was thinking about this one yesterday. Unfortunately, there are a few people in this world (not that many) who, for some reason or other, I don’t like. Now I know that it is socially acceptable that we should like everyone, but please, that is not reality. I do agree that saying bad things about people only makes the person doing the talking look bad.
Yes, we’ve all been victims of saying bad things about others. In fact, this proves that we don’t always like everyone. And if we don’t like everyone, the chances are that not everyone likes us. What can you do about it?
Try to be a good person, a genuine person and only have kind intentions towards those you meet, but other than that you really can’t help it if they don’t like you. As for the people in the past you had a spat with and still think about, write them a nice note or take them out for a drink. Bygones!
The art of letting go says that it’s ok if we aren’t all best friends, and if you have some beef with someone you care about which has persisted for some time, buy them a coffee or a drink and forget about it.
You didn’t get the job, or even the interview
Lately I’ve been interviewing for jobs. Sometimes I think they went fantastically well, and then I don’t get the job offer. While it is disappointing that they didn’t pick me, ultimately it is only my ego that is hurt. If you take the ego out of not being picked, then the only factor left is that it just wasn’t the right situation for you or the potential employer. It’s that simple. Something better always comes along.
The art of letting go again says move on!
The way you used to do and see things has changed
This one is also deeply personal. We are all growing and changing all of the time. Sometimes as we grow, our world perspective changes and what used to be really important is no longer important anymore. Priorities change as our lives change.
If we embrace change and grow stronger, our perspective will become clear. It is hard to change from what we always knew or perceived was ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ but there is a vast amount of knowledge to learn from the Universe.
The art of letting go says, perhaps there are no absolute truths.
You’re starting to feel self-righteous and ironically narrow-minded even though you always thought you were so open-minded and carefree!
Well, who am I to give tips about letting go and living when I don’t claim in any way to be a certified counselor or whatever it would take to give such advice. Yes, this makes me feel self-righteous.
As for the narrow-minded part, I’ll admit my world view has become traditional in certain ways. Yet, I don’t think this results in not being an accepting person or even worse, being ignorant. I was just raised with traditions and a certain way of doing things, especially when it comes to how you treat others (The Golden Rule). Instead of rebelling from this as I used to, I now embrace it. I’m even proud that I care about seemingly petty manners and social graces that many have completely forgotten about.
The art of letting go says don’t apologize for who you are, and ”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
